Frank was SARSACTIC AIR QUOTES released END OF SARSACTIC AIR QUOTES on May 9th. I hoped you noticed the sarcastic air quotes because there is nowhere in Essex for me to see it! Here are some fun facts to set the parameters for my frustrations. There are three main chains of cinemas in Essex: Empire, Odeon and Vue. There’s an Empire in Basildon; there’s an Odeon in Southend, Chelmsford and Colchester; and there’s a Vue in Thurrock and Romford. When I looked on Monday 12th May, none of them were placing Frank. So I asked them on twitter: “Will you being showing #frank anywhere in Essex? Your website doesn’t seem very helpful.”
They all replied which shocked me, I thought my question would be too trivial and their twitter account were for self-promotion. So thumbs up you guys for good customer service. However, these were the replies:
@ODEONCinemas: “at the moment it isn’t, however our listings update every Tuesday after 5pm, best to check back then :)”
@VueHelp “Hiya Charlie! It’s a very limited release, at the moment we don’t have it anywhere in Essex 😦 Keep your eyes peeled for times!”
@Empire_Cinemas “This is a limited release and is just showing at our central London cinema.”
The faces were a nice touch, as if they actually cared. I couldn’t help but take the lack of showings in Essex personally. Goodness, we’re not all orange, rose wine swigging, knicker-losing philistines. Gak! I understand that we’re lucky to be close to London but please don’t assume that because we want to see a small independent film about an eccentric pop band led by the mysterious and enigmatic cult hero Frank we have the cash to get to London. Or is this the ‘films’ fault?
I don’t know if there people from the film production company that decide where the film goes, or how that decision is made. I’m reluctant to blame the film; surely they want it to be seen by as many people as possible? By limiting the release, they are limiting the people that can and will see it. This puts me in a strange moral dilemma; I wonder if I should fuck the establishment and illegally download the movie to prove a point. But I want to give the film my money. Marvel Studios won’t notice if I don’t see the new Captain America film; Film4, Indieproduction, Runaway Fringe Productions and Element Pictures will notice. Film4 is pretty awesome, they work with established and emerging talent, supporting them to tell unique stories and connect with audiences in new ways. I want to support that.
I thought this film would be bigger and command more respect, what with it containing Michael Fassbender. Michael Fassbender. THE FILM HAS MICHAEL FASSBENDER IN IT. Well, not his face. He wears a giant head for the whole film. Maybe that’s why they won’t show it to the X-Men Loving Hoodie Wearing Essex Crowd, because they won’t see a film with Michael Fassbender and not show Michael Fassbender’s face or dick. It’s almost proving that we see films for the faces over the plot.
I had a very different blog planned for this week; I just got so angry and I wanted to share why. Apologises for the generalisation of the Essex people, but I live here and see it with my own eyes.
Update: Odeon still not showing it in Essex as of Wednesday 10am