So like many conscious people in the English speaking world, I’m addicted to Serial Podcast.
Baltimore, 1999. Hae Min Lee, a popular high-school senior, disappears after school one day. Six weeks later detectives arrest her classmate and ex-boyfriend, Adnan Syed, for her murder. He says he’s innocent – though he can’t exactly remember what he was doing on that January afternoon.
I can’t get the issue out of my head. He’s innocent can’t be proven beyond reasonable doubt, but that’s not the legal system! You are innocent until proven guilty, for me, there wasn’t enough to find him guilty beyond reasonable doubt. I urge you all to listen. So for a free writing exercise I started with the line: ‘I don’t know how to tell her.’ Serial and Adnan’s story came to the forefront of my mind, this is what came of it.
A: I don’t know how to tell her.
B: I don’t think it’s something you just –
A: It’s not easy.
B: No, it’s not easy.
B: I don’t know.
A: How would you?
B: I don’t –
A: Please. Just imagine. Indulge.
B: That’s a poor choice of word.
A: How so?
B: Indulging is pleasurable.
A: You’re right. Maybe I should have said … something else.
B: I have thought it about.
B: Not an indulging way.
A: It’s satisfying thought.
B: How so?
A: You feel better.
B: I don’t think I would.
A: Yes, you would.
B: I think the thing is too much.
A: You want the result.
A: But can’t do the action.
A: The necessary steps.
A: That’s what makes you weak.
B: It makes me a good person.
B: How? Because I haven’t –
A: I know that. When you think about it, how?
B: A gun.
B: You don’t need to be strong or cunning, you just need a finger.
A: I would want to show my strength. I would want to use my bare hands. I would want that. Slowly.
A: Strangle. I think I would strangle her.
B: Then what?
A: I don’t know. I don’t think that far ahead.
B: I watch cop shows. You can do forensics counter moves.
A: Like what?
B: Take the wallet. Robbery gone wrong.
B: We’re just talking, right?