Free Writing: The Dress

Free Writing: The Dress

I spend too much time on the internet. As a result, I write scenes like this:

A: The dress is the wrong colour.

B: Is it?

A+C: Yes.

B: It looks fine to me.

C: Well it’s not.

A: The dress in the original is red.

B: And this one is red.

C: It’s not.

B: That is not helpful.

C: It’s more of a blood orange.

A: Really? I’d call it a burnt sunset.

B: Those aren’t colours.

C: This is ‘purple, violet and mauve’ all over again.

A: Just fix the dress.

C: Sidebar.

A: What?

C: Are we seriously going to use that?

A: She the best –

C: She’s colour blind!

B: She’s also not deaf!

C: Learn the fucking colours!

A: Carter, calm down.

C: Calm down? Calm down!

A: Bell is the best, you can’t fault her technique.

B: No you can not.

C: Shut the fuck up and paint.

B: Maybe it’s the print out.

C: It’s not the print out.

A: Just fix the dress.

B: Maybe it’s the white scale.

A+C: Fix the dress.

B: I don’t see –

C: Fucking moron.

A: I know. Let’s go and see the original.

B+C: What?

A: It’s only down the road.

C: And plaster our faces on CCTV? No thank you.

A: We’ll wear disguises.

B: It’s not that simple. Three people starring at the portrait, three people rob the portrait. It’s not just our faces, it’s our walk, our height, our gait.

C: You’re finally talking sense.

B: I’ll go look at it by myself.

A: Hang on.

B: Why are you taking off your shoes?

A: Wear these.

B: Why?

A: Change your gait.

B: Those are far too big.

A: Change your gait considerably.

B: Fine, but these are hideous.