The Talk

The Talk

Write about a parent trying to explain the facts of life to his/her child.

Dad: Right.
Jenni: Yep.
D: The talk.
J: Yep.
D: What do already know?
J: What they taught us at school.
D: Right. And what was that?
J: Periods mainly. We watched a video.
D: Okay.
J: Do animals get periods?
D: I assume so.
J: Does Annie get periods?
D: No, the dog had it all taken out so she can’t.
J: That makes sense. I did wonder.
D: Wonder what.
J: Why there wasn’t any blood like me.
D: You’ve started … the evacuation?
J: What! Evacuation?
D: That’s what your mum called it.
J: Did she?
D: Yea, she thought it was funny. She’s just shout it and run out the room.
J: I’m going to call it that.
D: She’d have been thrilled.
J: And sex.
D: What?
J: And sex, they taught us the biology of … the act.
D: Excellent. Well, not excellent, you’re not old enough for … the act.
J: I know.
D: And don’t feel pressured.
J: I’m not.
D: Not by your girlfriends. Not by your boyfriend. Nobody. It’s your body. You decide.
J: Calm down Dad.
D: I want to be sure you understand.
J: I understand.
D: Your mother would have been so much better at this than me.
J: School covered most things.
D: It sounds like you watched the same video I watched. Creepy naked family walking around the house. Youngest kid has a bath.
J: How old is that video!?
D: But they don’t cover feelings, really, did they? Look, I’m not sweet and innocent-
J: No!
D: Shh. Daddy is being vulnerable. I did not lose my virginity to your mother. There was someone before but they still meant something to me. We dated for two years.
J: Have you never had a one night stand?
D: I have never had a one night stand. Because sex is something to be shared. Not something to be given away. Am I making any sense?
J: Yes Dad. Give yourself some credit. You’ve raised me well.
D: Really?
J: I’m so normal, it’s disgusting.