I miss doing this. I would write for ten minutes and come up with some random stories. Here’s one of my favourites.
A: Shall I take my gum out?
B: Up to you.
A: It’s … I’d hate for you to swallow it.
B: There’s worst –
A: How long does it stay in your stomach? 5 years?
B: What? Gum?
A: Or is it 7?
B: Just throw the –
A: I’m going to Google it.
A: It’ll bother me otherwise.
B: I charge by the hour.
A: I know, this will only take a second. Hang on, Wi-Fi is slow.
B: Throw the gum.
A: Apparently most people think its 7 years but that’s not true, your stomach can digest it.
B: I don’t believe that, let me see. You’re on Yahoo answers?
A: They’re usually –
B: Let’s find a proper website.
A: Yahoo are a proper –
B: No one has used Yahoo in years! Here we go.
A: What are you on?
B: Ohio State University.
A: What does it say?
B: Some parts break down but you pass everything anyway. I didn’t know that.
A: Wait until the guys here about this.
B: The hooker or the gum?
A: The gum, I use hookers all the time.
B: Wow, I feel so special, fuck me now.
A: Is the sarcasm extra?
B: Special offer, for you, no charge.
A: Well, you don’t get much for (chokes) I SWALLOWED THE GUM!